I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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