what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
