i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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