i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
