Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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