New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
