pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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