I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
