Who did Billy Mays play for?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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