She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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