It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
