i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
