I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
