I think im going to throw up on grandma
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
