I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize