I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
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