I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
