I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
