Sry I called you an 8
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize