that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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