I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
