Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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