I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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