The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize