I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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