Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
