I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
