just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
