At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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