1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
