It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
