Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
