I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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