We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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