HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
