Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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