I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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