"it" just moved
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
