a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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