you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
