yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
