No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize