I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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