Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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