you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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