We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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