me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
