You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
