Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
