His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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