My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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