She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
