New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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