He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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