I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
