She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize