OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
