Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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