every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
